¿Y tú quien eres?

jueves, 28 de mayo de 2009

Encontré más fotos de Eugen Bauder
















Es un modelo del sur de Rusia, de alguno de esos países antiguos y misteriosos. Bueno, no lo queremos para platicar sino para verlo... Hace campañas de moda para muchas marcas famosas, como Boss y Armani... que lo disfruten

lunes, 25 de mayo de 2009

Más de 33,000 visitas en este blog de bisexuales maduros

Nada más quiero actualizar con ustedes el número de visitantes, que es más o menos constante cada día, entre 50 y 70. Ahora ya pasan de 33,000, y la cifra exacta la pueden ver dando clic en el símbolo verde que hay aquí al lado, fuera del texto. Es el contador y está a la vista de cualquiera que tenga curiosidad.
Saludos y gracias.

Entérense de las novedades de este blog cachondo

Hola lectores y visitantes:
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Saludos y que les divierta.

Sobre los homosexuales maduros, una discusión

Estos dias se publicó un artículo sobre los homosexuales maduros y mayores en el sitio www.gay.com, y como me pareció interesante, aquí lo copié textualmente en inglés. Supongo que la mayoría de mis lectores no tendrá problemas para entender de qué se trata, aunque veré si estos días me hago tiempo para traducirlo, siquiera en parte. Se titula La generación invisible, es decir, se refiere al hecho de que los gays maduros y mayores se han vuelto "invisibles" para los demás de la comunidad, y que los jóvenes los olvidan, los desprecian incluso, les faltan el respeto. El artículo sugiere que esta generación, bueno, muchos de nosotros, somos quienes hace 25 o 30 años ayudamos a que este mundo se abriera, que la gente saliera del clóset, que se generara una nueva comprensión para el mundo homosexual y la libertad de expresión en su conjunto. Claro, hay muchas visiones diferentes en este punto. Algunos jóvenes ignoran o desprecian no sólo a los gay maduros sino a todas las personas mayores, lo que es claramente una forma de discriminación (que de la misma manera realizan los heteros y toda la sociedad). Algunas personas mayores esperan que los jóvenes se dejen seducir, que los quieran y los deseen, lo cual también podrían desearlo los mayores heteros, aunque esto no sea posible en estas épocas. O sea, hay gente mayor que está contenta y vive una vida adecuada, en su ambiente y con su gente, y otros que todo el tiempo se quejan porque no los atienden. Pero es una buena propuesta de lectura. Abajo esta la liga del original en inglés, donde no sólo está el artículo sino muchos interesantes comentarios que a lo largo de los días están poniendo lectores. Algunos son francamente chocantes, pero muestran que el tema y la discusión no tienen final y que requiere ternura, discresión y respeto desde todos los ángulos.
Alberto, el maduro que no mira mucho para atrás.


My friend Louis dragged me to a party of one of his friends, who just turned 21. At the party, Louis had a group of young guys hanging on his every word. He turned and pointed out a man in his 40s and said, "Who invited their dad?" All the boys giggled with delight at his remark as I stood stone-faced and not amused.
The generation that blew open the closet door and put out the welcome mat for all of us happens to be the same generation we throw back in the closet to hide them from the world. They are invisible to us.
Here are five reasons they should no longer be ignored:
The groundbreaking
Each year we work harder and harder to be less discriminated against as a community. We can all admit we still have a long way to go. Can you imagine what it was like decades ago?
There is a generation of gay men who were part of the groundbreaking movement to show that being gay was not a choice, not abnormal and not an "alternative lifestyle."
This generation participated in Stonewall, taught the world about safe sex and showed everyone that love is love. All the support organizations for gay and lesbian youth, HIV/AIDS, coming out, and fighting for equality started with one person standing up and making a difference. It was this generation we now ignore that helped us all.

The lessons learned
When you are having problems in your relationship, who do you turn to? Your friend who is still single? Or a friend who has been in a relationship for 10, 15, even 30 years?
Free advice is great, but it's even better when it comes from a valued source. Our older generations have more life experience to draw from. They can tell us about coming out, how to meet guys and date and how to put up with a guy long enough to be with him for 15 years.
When a friend of mine found out he was HIV-positive, it was an older friend that helped him through it. This man was HIV-negative, but his partner of 10 years was HIV-positive. He truly was able to understand and support my friend in a way I never could. He had more life wisdom to share from the heart to help my friend keep smiling.

The great stories
Where did you meet guys before there was Gay.com or LGBT events? Where did you go on dates before it was even acceptable to be "out"? What was it like coming out back then?
Our older generation holds the keys to many great stories about our history and experiences. To continue to grow as a community, we need to share our knowledge and our history.
When you go to the bookstore there are only a few shelves of LGBT books about our lives and experiences. Wouldn't it be easier to hear it from someone who lived through it?

The role models
Who do you look up to? Who do you want to be when you grow up? I doubt any of us want to be Britney Spears right now.
We all look to the older generation for role models. Someone who embodies the qualities and characteristics we hope to achieve. We can find great role models in the gay community if we stop pretending they are invisible and notice who they are, what they have done and even how they are willing to lend a hand to help us along the way.

The love
Those that came before us fought hard for change -- not only for them, but also for us. They wanted us to be free, happy and able to love who we wanted to love.
As a community, we can not afford to ignore this generation, because only as a whole community can we truly stand strong. Everyone who identifies as LGBT deserves to be part of the community and as a community we need to love each other. In the end, isn't that what all of us are fighting for? To be allowed to love who we want?
How can we ask others to accept us, love us, treat us with respect when we can't even do that for members of our own community?
Our older generation needs to be celebrated for all they did for us, the lessons they can share, the stories they can tell, the role models they are, and the love they are willing to give.
My friend Louis, from the party, is turning 40 next year and is desperately holding on to his youth as much as he can. Maybe if he showed respect to the older generation, he wouldn't be so scared that next year, he could be forgotten as well.

Michael Moniz is a life coach focusing on the LGBT community. His practice helps others with self-image, communication skills, self-leadership and setting and achieving goals. Check Michael's website for more information and to schedule private consultations.
Do you have a question about how to improve your life? Send an e-mail to pnohealth@planetoutinc.com

Posted by Gay.com on May 14, 2009 in Life's Pleasures Back to gay.com
Comments
You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.
I think this article reinforces the truth that If the GLBT community doesn't embrace people desite their age, race, gender, or sexual orientation then it will cease to exist as a movement, and the push for equal rights will be too slow. Whatever happened to love thy neighbor and treat those as you want to be treated? I love our mature gay brothers and sisters.
- Justin

Posted by: Justin May 14, 2009 at 08:46 PM
Great article... It's the truth :)

Posted by: David May 15, 2009 at 05:03 AM
BRAVO to gay.com for this article! It's insightful, compassionate and true. While I agree there has to be some chemistry for sex to happen and each one is entitled to what that chemistry adds up to, what about friends? When I turned 40, I disappeared from the eyes of the gay community. Now that I am 57, I might as well not even exist. I recently moved to a new area of the country next to a very large gay community and can't even get gays to recognize let alone respond to a cheerful nod of greeting to them. If anything, I am seen as a PREDATOR. I'm told that I should stick to my own age as if I now belonged in a leper colony. No, at 57 I don't chase after 18-year olds. They're simply too young. But I've been called a predator for being attracted to someone 35. I have been personally attacked and insulted in the chat rooms because of my age ("I want a mature man, not a grandpa" -"Just make sure they have their teeth." -"NO FATS, FEMS, OR OLD PEOPLE" (let's insult 3 different types in one sentence.) BTW, I don't get these comments in the rooms focused on sex, I get them in the Love & Relationships room.
There are many issues here, but to sum up my feelings, it's not the lack of physical attraction that hurts -it's the absence of any recognition whatsoever.
Posted by: erik May 15, 2009 at 05:43 AM

That's true up to a point, some older generation folks demand more respect sometimes than deserved. Yes respect your elders but respect also has to be earned. I agree with a very good buddy, show me respect and I'll show you respect back ;) Don't use your age to take away from the younger generations. Instead be there and be supportive not judgemental.

Posted by: Laun May 15, 2009 at 05:49 AM
I was invited to a birthday party of a friend of a man I was dating many years ago. I was in my early 30s, the birthday boy was nearing 40 and there were all sorts of young 20-somethings at the party flitting about and acting as eye candy. I happened across two men in their mid 60s who seemed strangely out of place until I took the time to talk to them. They had been together as a couple for 35 years--basically since I was born. I was thrilled to meet a gay couple with that kind of relationship longevity and I took the time to listen to the stories they had to tell about the gay rights movement in the 1960s and 70s and how they managed to stay together for so long. I walked away from that party thankful I went and had the honor of meeting such an inspirational couple.

Posted by: Mikeyisback May 15, 2009 at 06:25 AM
This is a nice article, and Im sure there are people out there who could use this as a thought in their daily lives. But to be fair, not every one behaves this way either. Im 46, and it seems to me there are many nice young guys that posess social skills that extend beyond age.To a degree, our entire society is hung up on age and youth, straight and gay, this is really more of a subject of maturity. and this preception exists regardless of gender or orientation.Sometimes I have to remind myself im heading towards fifty. I dont percieve myself as that old. I dont feel that way, and I dont look at the world that way. I suspect most people feel the same way. But I dont know if we can expect younger people to be able to percieve that, after all, I can also remember a time when I couldnt even percieve reaching 46 :)I think its funny your friend Louis is tuning 40, and he is calling someone grandpa. after all to a 20 year old, 40 is ages away.A very nice and heartfelt article.

Posted by: jim May 15, 2009 at 06:27 AM
From the older generation that you spoke of in your article - respect and appreciation certainly are earned. Just as the respect and appreciation that should be shown any elder - mom, dad, teacher, etc. This is an age-old situation.
The previous generation were also the one's who burnt draft cards in protest of Vietnam, practiced dropping under desk in case of nuclear attack and defied the norm by developing their own music choices.
Each generation has their unique experiences which mold who and what they become.
Each generation progresses through life and experiences life as life chooses to present itself. I wish this and all future generations the best - as well as the good sense to know that life is challenging - no matter who we are.
I have to admit that I too looked on my elders as "the ancients" as I began my journey - and "poof" here I have become one! It happens quicker than we want - it seems overnight.
Elderly advice?
Live life in moderation... eventually the actions of youth become the trials of age.
Open your mind to different opinions and possibilities - there is a saying "What the mind perceives and believes, it will achieve" - so keep it open.
and finally, remember my current favorite motto: "The older I get, the better I was"
Cheers and Peace!

Posted by: Rich May 15, 2009 at 06:35 AM
In many ways it is KARMA, and so reflective of Western society, where the elderly are shunned.
I am 50, and trust me it was no different 30 years ago... the younger (me included sometimes) were exclusive of our older brothers, who went through even more than we did in the 80's. And I have seen it happen with every generation since I came out.
Without changing Western Society as a whole, I don't see any change happening in the Gay community either. Respect and inclusion of our elder community members begins at home and early in life.
Oh, how I wish it was different, for now I feel very much on the outside, and thrown aside. But, am I only getting payback for my own actions many years ago?
Some will say they aren't like that, but face it boys... most of us ignored out "elders"... deny it all you want.

Posted by: Jim - Manitoba, Canada May 15, 2009 at 07:07 AM
I find the worse age-phobia amongst gay young men to be in online gay.com chat. I won't even put my real age in gay.com anymore because it seems to attract these age-phobes. I put my age as '98' currently and that seems to deflect these types for some reason. I am guessing that it leaves them wondering what my real age is as I look somewhat younger in my pictures (I am told and think). My real age is 54 this year.
I have had young men IM me without invitation only to make agist comments without me typing one word. I have had young men attack me in group chat just for being there at my age, making a statement like "he comes in here showing his wrinkles trying to seduce us" when I have never even attempted to chat with the fellow in IM or group. These types of attacks are very hurtful considering I am one of those people who marked when only about 200 would dare to march for gay rights. I am one of those people who came out in the workplace and with family and faced discrimination for it. I am one of those people who were assaulted physically and verbally many times on the street.
I also find a certain arrogance among young men who seem to think that because I am older I will go for sex with any man just because he is young ... NOT ... he may be young but if I do not find him attractive his age will not compensate. I am very careful in how I decline these propositions because I find their young egos to be very fragile and they lash out in the IM and even in the group chat because of the decline. I try to find an 'excuse' like 'I don't think I am your type' 'I think I am too old for you' so as to make it about me not them.
All I ask is for young men to accept me the way I am and leave me alone unless they are interested in knowing me better and to accept the fact that just because they are young it doesn't mean I am going to be interested in them. Also, some of us older men have to respect the young too and accept it when they are not interested in having a friendship or sexual relationship with an older man. I find twink chasers to be kinda sad and even annoying when they won't take no for an answer.
Having said all that I also have met far more many wonderful young gay men who are accepting of me as a friend or sex partner.
I think the age-phobic young are far outnumbered by those for whom it is not an issue when it comes to regular interaction.

Posted by: Roger May 15, 2009 at 07:08 AM
At 46 I am invisible. It's an x man power that allows me to eat doughnuts and not worry about what anyone thinks. They can't see me.

Posted by: kt May 15, 2009 at 07:20 AM
When I hear the 'gramps' comment amongst younger gays, I hope they remember that comment in 30 years when they have thinning hair and no one to keep them company at night.

Posted by: Phil May 15, 2009 at 07:24 AM
I don't think we should accept the older generation based on what they've done. Yes, it's amazing, but we're still doing the same thing.
We should accept them because it's just the right thing to do. Shunning people based on age is wrong. Sometimes I have a hard time dealing with my own generation based on the level of immaturity there is.And granted, there are situations where I still shun older people, but it's situation dependent.
In any case, the people who really should be reading this article won't. And the ones that need to hear this won't take it to heart. It's sad, but it's true.Good article anyways :)

Posted by: JT May 15, 2009 at 07:43 AM
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU often i go into a chat room on gay.com and the young'uns say things like - your so old, go away old man, etc. one day i hope these punks live long enough to get double the treatment they give us older generation. damm - it is only a chat room. i can't rape you over a computer screen, so what is wrong with a little conversation with someone other than your age group? maybe you could learn something. or just have a good conversation. try it you might like it. and btw - old people don't bite, because they probably don't have any teeth to get a good grip.

Posted by: tokar May 15, 2009 at 07:52 AM
Thank you! I'm 24, but I have a great appreciation and growing for the generations of GLBT men and women that came before me. Sadly, gay history is not taught or considered much by my generation. I didn't learn about Reagan's lack of response to AIDS until a year ago and had no idea who Frank Kameny or Barbara Gettings were. This is important stuff and in order for us to accept our sexuality and ask others to, it would certainly help us to look back on the examples of those before us. It's also important for us to establish positive relationships between the older and younger generations of gays so that we do not loose a sense of what our struggle has meant.

Posted by: Bryan May 15, 2009 at 08:00 AM
I only skimmed this story.
I am TIRED of this nonsense. I will not "celebrate" these people. There are INDIVIDUALS whom I may "celebrate," but that is at MY discretion.
I will not genuflect and get all weepy and blubbery at Stonewall, or at any other leftist/gay holy site.

Posted by: Jack May 15, 2009 at 08:20 AM
I feel sorry for you Jack. Stonewall was leftist? Give me a freaking break. I'm 51 now, and came out in 1973 right after Stonewall. Maybe if you'd lived through the daily harassment, taunts, Anita Bryant and the like you'd feel differently. Maybe if you'd been refused a job, a hotel room, or the like because you were gay, you'd feel differently. Don't tell me it didn't happen, because I was there and some of it happened to me PERSONALLY. So cut the left wing/right wing crap and get real.

Posted by: Noel May 15, 2009 at 09:01 AM
This article is spot on. I'm 48 and joke about "gay age", defined as when a gay man turns 40 multiply the true age by a factor of 2 and that is how one is perceived in the gay community. The joke is sad but has an element of truth in it.
Over the years I have given thousands of dollars to help the gay community and have been active in the evolution of American society. And, I have been disrespected many times by younger gays. I have stopped going out to the local gay bars because of this. Instead I feel more accepted at local sports bars. Young guys actually talk to me in those "straight" places, often inviting me to play pool, darts, etc... with them.
I'm a friendly guy and enjoy talking to people and just being sociable. Lots of younger guys think that if they talk to an "older one" that they will be made fun of or you're trying to get to their "goodies".
Anyway, most of the youth are self-centered and only think about themselves anyway; however, when they turn 40 and reach "gay age" they will start to understand. I hope they have fun in their youth because it is truly fleeting and will end too quickly. I know this (wink).

Posted by: Tim May 15, 2009 at 09:04 AM
All of you that are in the younger ,20'ish to late 30 ish range just remember that this will be you ,IF YOU LIVE THAT LONG. Listen to them, learn from them , Thanks to them you can proudly go out in public with alot less fear than the days that they grew up in. I'm only 46 so my growing up allows me to vividly remember the B.S. of Anita Bryant. Those seniors paved the way for you to have a better life than they did,respectively, so make good use of it. They can guide you from experience...............Jon

Posted by: bottombuster2 May 15, 2009 at 09:13 AM
Great article. Unfortunately young gay people rarely think beyond a few years ahead and I think if we really asked them who they would want to be like when they finally do grow up we'd be saddened by the responses. Most think they are going to look like Hugh Jackman or "The Rock" when they get older but the reality is that many will struggle with life's stresses, get wrinkles, go bald and lose their perfect abs. They don't realize that when they are 35, 45, 55, 65 that new faces and bodies will have taken their place among the desirable twenty somethings.

Posted by: Jeremy B May 15, 2009 at 09:15 AM
I'm all for respecting all people who deserve it! Thing is people pigeon hole themselves. Older guys fawn over youth and have made the stereotypes... yes it is best not to assume but lets not forget that respect must be given to be received.
Posted by: Ned May 15, 2009 at 09:27 AM

At my age, 59, I'm pretty much FUCKED without ever getting fucked [much]!! That makes ME the happiest guy around.
See YOU around - but you won't even notice ME.
Posted by: fulldeck May 15, 2009 at 10:22 AM

Quotes (perhaps not verbatim):
"don't trust anyone over 30"
"Enjoy the power and beauty of youth... oh...never mind, you won't understand it until it is gone."
"Why is youth wasted on the young?"
"take wisely the counsel of the years, surrendering gracefully the things of youth."
Great article. I'm 40s and wasn't much out of diapers during stonewall. Generations may owe gratitude to generations before, and youngens may benefit from the voices of wisdom/experience, but occasionally I've seen absurd frustrated older guys try to imply guilt sex was somehow due them.
Like most men on the planet (look at modeling careers) I find 20-somethings most sexually attractive. The older I get, the narrower the pool of 20-somethings who are attracted to me. I wish my tastes would have aged as fast as I am aging, but it's a slower process. Body sex is great, but mind sex is better, and making love is the best. The age of my LTR Mates has been closer to my age than the age of most of my Play Mates.
My motives to be "seen" by 20-somethings are primarily either: sexual, paternal, or friendly. Since all those kinds of interactions are mutual, I only care about the ones who want to be able to see me as not invisible. It's a little insulting to be "grandpa-ed" but only cause there's some truth in it. Unless I'm only hunting, I prefer gatherings with a spectrum of people. I'm very fortunate to have friends in their 20s, 40s, 60s, and 80s.
Posted by: water May 15, 2009 at 11:28 AM

My Fav Saying .... You Cannot Change The Wind , But You Can Adjust The Sail
Posted by: Top040 May 15, 2009 at 11:47 AM

personally, i prefer my men somewhat older, but I'm also looking for a relationship and I find very few men 40+ who want anything more than a quick hookup. I don't get it.
Posted by: bjacobs May 15, 2009 at 11:58 AM

Great article, and it's about time we see something like this on GDC. I must add that respect is a two-way street. I've seen some of my elders treat those younger than me with total disdain simply for their youth, almost an attack before being attacked. With so much hate out there towards all of us, we can't afford to have hate for each other within the community. We'll never progress that way. We all have something to teach to each other.
Posted by: ca_panic_fan May 15, 2009 at 12:08 PM

Bravo on a well thought out article.
The challenge for Gay men over 40 is that many want the attentions of men under 40. Well Sugar, do what you think you can but remember it's about youth and beauty. If you won't date someone your own age WHY do you think a younger man will?
You can't do much about the youth part but you sure can do something about the beauty part. As a Gay man that digs men over 40, I'm endlessly shocked at the out of shape 40+ men that think someone with a hard flat stomach is gunna find them attractive. Get a drip, being over 40 does NOT mean being out of shape, not caring about how you look, or otherwise saying "to hell with it, give me that box of cookies".
One other factor to bear in mind, the generation mentioned by the author was pretty much wiped out by AIDS.
Posted by: Sargon Bighorn May 15, 2009 at 12:27 PM

Reminds me of a quote from Torch Song Trilogy as the main character (Harvey Firestein), Arnold is getting older and falls for the young pretty one, (Matthew Broderick)Allen." A thing of beauty is a joy until Sunrise"Not always true but in many cases it surely fits. It just shows you that young and old can get along fine if they both respect each others values and appreciate the faults as well as the Attributes .......Jon
Posted by: bottombuster2 May 15, 2009 at 12:31 PM

Gay men can be pretty ageist. I date older guys mostly, usually in their 40's or 50's, because they're usually mellower and not as prone to drama. besides, that way I get to be the younger one int he relationship, which has its advantages. There are cute guys in every age group. And there are ugly ones, too. A lot of it has to do with behavior as well. Older guys Usually, not always) tend to be mellower and less drama-prone. There are exceptions of course, and you should judge everybody on an individual basis
Posted by: Rain City Blues May 15, 2009 at 12:34 PM

When youth tries to put me down I just remember: I have more money.I have more experience.I probably drive a nicer car.I have good friends that I can rely on. I probably have a nicer place to live. I probably go on more interesting vacations. etc, etc, etcYouth may look pretty, but frankly, I don't don't care if they notice. Give me a few 40+ guys with all of the things I've listed above - much more of a turnon than some twerps that don't have any respect.
Posted by: Dave May 15, 2009 at 12:45 PM

This is for Ted, Jack and those of like mind.....it's a terrible shame that we old farts can't bitch-slap you fuckers with something more then a feather boa because assholes like YOU just make me furious and embarrassed to be a gay man!The terrible sad thing with the young is that their mommies did NOT teach them good manners!I have always been on the outside of the gay commuunity. Invisible mostly.I am not bipolar, a whore, alcoholic, drug addict, thief, pedophile or a cheat. My straight sister pointed out to me the generational thing going on. The younger generation can't even count w/o a calculator! Go to McD's and watch the cashier do the change.Heaven forbid if the register doesn't tell them how much change to give.I think what we are taught by our parents is what's going on here. My father was a retired police officer and business man. My mother, a born again fundamentalist christian. It was hell in our family on many occasions. There was a ton of discipline and even abuse. But there were good manners, politeness and using your brain! Common sense stuff as well.A lot of the youngens today are clueless as the the hell we old farts went through by our families and society. I had friends kicked out of their homes for being gay. I've had friends kicked out of their homes for having AIDS/HIV+!!!!! Some survived and some did not. There's a total lack of self responsibilities with the younger. Look at all the barebacking going on.Totally totally stupid!So for Ted/Jack and etc....you think respect has to be earned? ROFLMFAO!!I am SO thankful that I am NOT in your shoes my lil' bumpkins...your karma is deep! Your attitude sucks and you WILL regret it in the end.Being a gay man is not easy. Has never been easy. And will never be easy. If there isn't some asshole criticizing you for being gay there WILL be some gay asshole criticizing you for not being perfect enough and so on.
Posted by: healthypozfurr May 15, 2009 at 12:50 PM

I'm a middle aged man of 46. When I came out a whole generation of gay men, who I could've looked to for comfort while coming out was dead. I say this not to be depressing, but to tell the truth about the age discrimination factor in our community. I have experienced the disrespect that the younger generation has thrust upon me. In addition, our media in the LGBT community continues to promote an ideal that is not even close to reality. Young, thin, muscular, and PERFECT! I doubt any Gay man who does not have lots of money to spend on plastic surgery, to look perfect can ever live up to that ideal. Rather, its about loving yourself and refusing to conform to fantasies. As a member of the older generation, I will continue to fight against homophobia and the discrimination to be invisable because I am middle aged. I will fight for visability within and out of the gay community. I refuse to shut up and refuse to be classified as a "troll" or ignorred. That is the energy that started the Gay Civil Rights Movement. And it will be the energy I will voice until I drop dead; young, beautiful whatever you better watch out because this old FUCK isn't giving up or shutting up!
Posted by: JEP May 15, 2009 at 12:58 PM

I agree that it's an interesting article but one thing that has annoyed me about older gay men is that those that are 20,30 even 40 years older than me become angry when I reject their sexual advances. Telling me I am being narrow minded. And that I should 'open my horizons' to them because I will be their age 30 years from now. I remember one chat in particular with a gay man 30 years older than me, telling me I should be sexually attracted to him. In response I asked him if he lusted after men 30 years older when he was my age. His reply: Hell no!! But that doesn't mean you have to make the same mistake.I'm 32 years old now and haven't dated in over 2 years now and no sex in 6 months. I understand that as I get older my dating/sex options will become increasingly limited. I'm still hopeful that I will find someone someday,but I might not.At 32 I absolutely do not expect a 21 year old to be interested in me sexually and I don't harrass them for being narrow minded if I say hi online and they just delete my message. I admit it doesn't feel very nice to have more and more of my messages instantly deleted but that's just the way it is. I just need one man, that's all.
Posted by: Joel May 15, 2009 at 01:39 PM

If by your 40's you are obtaining your identity from what others think of you then being invisible is the least of your problems.
I am 44 and feel no slight from young men. They are at a different place in their lives (as they should be).
The whining, pining, praying and braying about not being desired by young men who you could have fathered is pointless - save reminding us all that narcissism and self pity are timeless attributes.
Posted by: JOHN May 15, 2009 at 01:43 PM

Let's face it guys! Young and cute seeks young and cute. That's the way it is and,that's the way it will always be. There are exceptions of course. There are a small minority of guys that like older guys. I hate to speak in generalities, but very few young gay people are interested in past history, let alone past gay history. They are living in the moment. What are we doing this weekend? etc. Middle age and older are truly invisible. All you older guys chasing youngsters are just idiots in my book. If you're willing to pay for it, that's the only way most of you will get it. And I don't really believe there is such a thing as a " gay community". Just being blunt, sorry.
Posted by: Eric May 15, 2009 at 01:43 PM

John YOU are the MAN. That short 3 paragraph explanation was so well said I have only one thought; I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIES, ALL 20 OF THEM!
Posted by: Sargon Bighorn May 15, 2009 at 02:45 PM

"Who do you look up to? Who do you want to be when you grow up? I doubt any of us want to be Britney Spears right now."
Okay, lol, so the point of the story is to not treat people badly and yet the author throws in a Britney dig. Hypocrites are everywhere, including this very article about being a better person.
Posted by: Jerry May 15, 2009 at 02:54 PM

These Baby Boomers NEVER showed any genuine respect for the "older generation" when they were in their own youth and I don't care to hear about the isolated, insignificant, selective, and unverifiable cases that the old crowd and their blind supporters will spew on these boards. In the main this most self-serving, fuck-everyone-else generation never showed any respect for anyone outside of their own age group. "Don't trust anyone over 30" was their mantra when they were in their 20's. And now we hear from them the warning of how they should be respected simply because they are old, flabby and gray and everyone will be that way someday. No kidding. That's the human saga. Who started the boom in the building of old age homes if not the Baby Boomers when their own parents were hitting retirement age and they wanted to get rid of them and shove their responsibilities for care onto strangers and society at large. Just look at the damage their generation has done to the younger generations in terms of great uncertainty in the job market, economic instability and the total abdication of environmental stewardship. They were never a good example to anyone and like locust left nothing but devastation in their wake. Purely selfish hypocrites who can't stand the fact that younger people aren't grateful because they are still around, crowding the slim job market and breathing the ever depleting levels of O2 in the air.
Posted by: Duchamp May 15, 2009 at 03:02 PM

The thing that bothers me most is the whining and bitching of the older guys being invisible. Come on guys. If you walk into a room of giggling 21 year olds, what do you expect. A 4 will always be invisible to a 10. What about being an African-American, Latino, Asian, physically handicapped, overweight or a deaf young man. Are they invisible to you. Being older does not make you special. We are all invisible, at all ages, to some clique. Stay in shape, look the best you can. No one is going to ignore George Clooney or Richard Gere when they walk into a room. I love only older men, but Im not going to show sexual interest if you just arent my type...period!! Stop putting all the crap and blame on the youth. There is nothing wrong with the young guys of today. I really like what Sargon Bighorn said..If you won't date someone your own age WHY do you think a younger man will?I am 56 and am not invisible to those I am interested in. I make sure of that.
Posted by: Alex May 15, 2009 at 03:07 PM

I always thank the older as if not for them before us we sure would not have what we have today.When I came out in 1980, way before computers + cellphones, etc., You had to physically go places to meet up etc.Now everyone can slack it online, play games that never change, even as time goes by. Physical attractions can be had at any age, but what I've noticed is the older you get, the less anyone notices you, unfortunately. That's Life!
Posted by: Pacific2030 May 15, 2009 at 03:34 PM

this article is one of the reasons why i am not always proud be be gay.
I got more attention 28-32 but it started to disappear after 35
i just find gay men repulsively shallow
Posted by: g May 15, 2009 at 05:07 PM

Several commenters seem to have missed the point of this well-written article. It isn't about sex or intergenerational dating. The article begins with a man who is insulted solely because of his age and continues with reasons why older people have something to offer and shouldn't be ignored. Are we as gay men so focused on sex that the only way we can include someone is to fuck him? There are other ways to relate, and our unwillingness to use them is probably a large part of the reason why we treat older people with such disregard.
There is another side to the issue: some older guys also focus narrowly on sex, and this contributes to the problem. Still, I've seen a great deal more disrespect from younger to older than the other way round.
Posted by: Dan May 15, 2009 at 05:40 PM

You missed the real reason to treat EVERYONE well... they're people.
Posted by: Fine May 15, 2009 at 05:46 PM

This column speaks the absolute truth! I have one best friend and a few friends over the age of 50 who I greatly admire and respect their opinion.
Posted by: Justin May 15, 2009 at 07:07 PM

I don't try to shove the older generation back in the closet to hide from the world, but a lot of the time, I get hit on by middle aged men. It skews my perception of them, when I wouldn't mind just talking to them, without feeling this pressure that they're trying to get in my pants.
I'm sociable enough. I'll talk to whoever, and to an extent, I ignore the sexual remarks to dig deeper and maybe try to find something in the person that will make them talk to me instead of thinking what they would do if I had sex with them. I guess it goes to all who approach me, but a lot of the time it's really older guys, which is kind of discouraging.
Posted by: Luke May 15, 2009 at 07:36 PM

i think that things are very based in image and outer tendencies in the gay community.. that people are so concerned with being gay, getting with people, being different, being young, ect, that they forget that really we are all just human. Just like people want to be accepted for liking who they like, and treated like everyone else, why should those same people treat each other differently, or even worse, hold themselves as if they are that much different from the rest. We are all people, in the end, each different, but in general, its nothing that one should consider himself 'better' for.Standing out when necessary is nothing bad, or wrong, but sticking out just to do it, being vain, or uncouth just because you can, is ignorant, and leaves a stain on not only yourself, but others- as they perceive the behaviour of one as the behaviour of all.
That said, it doesn't make sense to ignore someone because of age. From what i have experienced, as someone who is young, it becomes a cycle that is unfortunate for both sides. Young people pay older no mind pay the younger no mind pay the older no mind, because often, both parties feel that they can get nothing from each other except for external needs, or superficial things which will get them to the next stage of whereever they are going. Not to say that this is correct all the time, but to say that it happens at times.
It happens with any age range, really, go younger and younger or even slightly older, and they will treat each other differently.
not to ramble, but in all, it is very unfortunate.. i think its more important to carry yourself with self-respect and care for people in general- of any age, rather than abrasively, depended on gender, age, sexuality, and what they can do for you. Its not about that, in any society, not at all. Its very sad.
Posted by: murr May 15, 2009 at 07:50 PM

I sing with a gay men's chorus in Texas, and I have to say that this article is the truth. I love the generation that came before me. They are the most beautiful, honest and funny people I have ever met, and I can honestly say that I wouldn't be the young man I am without all of them.Great article.
Posted by: John L. May 15, 2009 at 08:07 PM

I'm a younger guy, 22, and I find that even though I try to find friends that are older, and actually find the company of older gay men to be more supporting and mature than that of my near-in-age peers, that a lot of older gay guys write me off because I'm only 22. Also, I find that some of them really just want to be my friend to get into my pants. So I'm at a crossroads really, trying to find people that I connect with while having to wade through the waters of difficult situations. That's my take.
Posted by: will May 15, 2009 at 08:59 PM

The older men are fathers and are rejected, unless of course they are sugar daddies, and then they are considered lovers. Oh, what a user world eh?? I personally prefer older men because they are more loving, better in bed, and they are so much more mature.....I would prefer them anytime, then to some good looking wham bam thank you man. No way honey ! I need love. You young people can keep your disease, and your plastic star trek lifestyle. I want a man !
Posted by: wallace May 15, 2009 at 10:00 PM

anybody in their early 20s at any party gay or str8 would say the same thing...like all you older men were so inclusive of 40 y/os when you were that age haha..really? and I hope you could care less if a 20 something y/o notices you..I know when I'm older I sure as hell wont, and I wont want to hangout with guys in their 20s..
Posted by: Ford May 15, 2009 at 10:29 PM

This isn't a gay phenomenon. When NBA great Lenny Wilkins was a coach, his young players never realized that he had not only played the game but had been an all-star caliber player. It's a natural generational thing for the young to be ignorant and uncaring about those who preceded them. So don't be surprised that an old joke like this is true: "Paul McCartney was in a band before Wings?"
Posted by: greyhound1954 May 15, 2009 at 10:47 PM


Hay muchos comentarios de lectores de esta página
http://lifestyle.gay.com/2009/05/the-invisible-generation.html

martes, 5 de mayo de 2009

Lanzamiento de la nueva ropa de Aussiebum

Vean más sobre esta marca y los lanzamientos, videos y cachonderías en www.aussiebum.com

Y ustedes, ¿cuántos kilómetros de verga han recibido?


Mi amigo Selvio, de California, publicó este texto que no tiene desperdicio. Es mi amigo aunque claro, nunca nos hemos visto y sólo hemos cruzado unos correos. Pero es un tipo muy divertido, con ese humor que me encanta, y esa cachondería que me gustaría tener. Hace unos dibujos muy excitantes, y sobre todo, le gusta coger y mamar, como si todo se fuera a acabar. Aquí les copio pues ese texto, y los invito a que conozcan sus blogs.

Dice Selvio:
El otro dia me puse a pensar en las veces que me cogen en terminos de kilometraje y vean a lo que llegue...Cada coito de los míos dura un promedio de 5 minutos, el promedio de penetración del pene en un ansioso culito como el mío es de 30 veces por minuto, lo que indica que en cada culeada que me dan hay más o menos 150 penetraciones. Puesto que la longitud promedio de los miembros que consigo es de 16 cm. en erección, significa que a mí me introducen 2, 400 cm., o sea 24 metros de miembro por cogida.

Hice el promedio de mis últimos 6 meses y es de 20 cogidas por mes, multiplicado por 12 meses, esto significa que en resumen, recibo 5,760 metros de pene anualmente, o lo que es igual, casi 6 Km. por año, o sea 1/2 Km. por mes.

Así que, amigos mios, si no han recibido tu kilometraje correspondiente a esta altura del año, por qué no dejan que alguna persona les dé una ayuda para conseguir el ansiado objetivo.
NOTA: Unos metros de más no hacen daño, por el contrario, así que, Pasivos, a juntar kilómetros, y Tops no se queden atrás y entreguen el kilometraje requerido puntualmente


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